America America so Wunderbar

I think the biggest difference really is perspective. Sure, honey, it's actually all the same. That doesn't change, though, that there is a difference of perspective which ultimately is affecting your way of life. It kind of does matter whether you see the earth all the way from the moon or whether you are on it, right?!
To put it in other words: I might as well be from another planet. The urge to distance ourselves from America, the American way of life - it is so pathetic and you find it in almost all Europeans except for those who really wanted to be American. Like my sister, for example. She is fine. She knows that it doesn't matter.
I don't, however, and that's why I have to go.
I don't know whether I'll be happier somewhere else but I sure as hell owe it to myself to go and give it a try.
Otherwise I'll probably end up like those petty people who say they just got stuck. As if they couldn't choose.

seeeed!

Listening to last.fm and hey, the bring the beginners in my artist selection, and as I read something about Jan Delay I see a link for seeeed and think, ooch, would be nice to listen to seeeed once again, and the next song was - surprise! - by them!!!!!! yeah.
Funny, because it came at a moment where I smirked at life for being such a bitch and thinking that I might be trapped in LA forever lol because it is so sunny and so nice ...and then there is seeeed and sings a love song to Berlin and I start smiling...
Hey! Berlin!
I want to come home!

then

how comes
this nature flower child
so drawn
smoking into the darkness
of a concrete abyss
in the middle of flashing
wild city lives
the dirt
so against the pale night sky
pounding music
into an otherwise
restlessly resting mind


a soul unwinding in the midst of
in between
finding hallowing
spaces so wide
narrowminding
alleyways
screaming for
some sort of salvation
maybe
in the saliva dripping down your chin
drooling off into the sparks of
exploding fascination
a cigarette
flying
crashing
the hard cold ground

lies

so
different
yet the same
eternally evolving
revolving
give me a revolver
i wanna fuck you in the mouth
i wanna make fucking love
of course
not to your corpse
but to your very
soul
penetrate your mind
unravel
the unfolding of
your child
blossoming
all over
again

interim report

Sooo, I am back in LA, didn't have the chance yet to go to the beach and enjoy what I envisioned while roaming the perfect Black Forest roads...However, I will, I will.
It's a very confusing situation for me right now, don't know what I got myself into. Maybe waiting around for life to show isn't always the best recipe...I might have to take action, I will, I will, I just...gotta think a little about this one.
So I will apply at universities but still have to figure out what it really is that I want to study. Anyone - ideas? Gosh. This is a really hard one. Going to Germany was supposed to help me out with that, but what it really did was to throw me back through space and time and to point zero, all over again. Now, everything is possible again. Fucking, everything.
Staying here could make sense in retrospect some day, but for right now...I start feeling so trapped, so scared. It's kind of time for a scene change. I think. Oh well. I need to get in contact with certain people here in LA. Like Orlando Bishop. We'll see what that brings. Actually, I LOVE LA and being here in some weirdo sense as soon as I pretend I AM leaving back to Berlin. You know? As soon as this horizon is set for me I can enjoy the scenery like a hot steam bath.
Yeah. ;-)