it seems that things are slowing down. i keep coming back to this magnificent gate to see if you have arrived but there is not even a hint of a prenotion, not the slightest silver lining on the horizon. and it is good that way. what would happen, if you came? i would have to give up all the things attached to your idea. you are like a black hole attracting every little piece of emotion and motion of my soul, swallowing it up into the tiniest of imaginable places, throbbing of heavy weight potence and importance gathered in one tiny freckle of imploded energy.
so i drink my coffee with milk foam and continue the path of destruction because destruction is what I need in times like these: getting things done that I am very unwilling to accomplish, papers, scientific research papers while the sun is shining and people are talking about deep spiritual connections and finding "their" way while I sit here in my mind, trying to free myself from that black hole that represents the idea of you, tugging my energy and thought into the void rife with all my longings that I had hoped I had stashed away for good.
Swimming seems like a good idea or being loved, but really, it´s a hard days morning and dooms-day´s rapture has forsaken all of us.