Wednesday, January 11, 2012

maybe that´s what he meant by diving into the grieving process.
your absence suddenly hits me with a force I haven´t known. It isn´t so much the question of how to relate to you beyond the visible yet but more of how to deal with the moment of your passing and wrapping my mind around everything that that entailed.

I am so confused.
So infused with dark blue sadness


The mental structures are such: it is okay to die. It was a beautiful way to die. It was your time. There are great mysteries. I want to relate to the invisible. I want to build bridges

The actual process is:


so FUCKING SAD that it breaks my heart.

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