Slowly I come back into the middle All these doors - they lead further away. For now I am happy to look for keys for that little dusty door that leads further down into my soul. I know I am connected. I know Joseph was right. Sometimes I have a longing to be gone as well, to have passed the threshold already but this feeling is counterbalanced with feelings of curiosity and joy towards this life in this body under these circumstances. It´s the same ambivalence I feel towards pregnancy and giving birth to a child, - while I actually would welcome it I am totally glad that it hasn´t happened to me as of yet. Same goes for death. Before she embraces me with her dark soft wings I want to sing, sing, sing.