devine justice

what is devine justice?
if you believe in the most high you will probably consent with the idea that we are NOT devine in the sense of being complete but we need to grow thus we aren't whole yet. in a whollistic sense of course.
so devine justice is to give everybody his or her fair share but not too much and not too little, but of course we are not the ones to judge what is too much or too little, we just must assume that it is that way. if you think you have too little, hell, go and discover yourself, dare! probably you have to learn and find the key how to open the doors god gave you. simple huh???

i can tell you from my own person that it is quite scary if the contrary is the case. i can'T really say it is scarier, because I don't know how it feels like to be a looser. I am a winner. almost. but it is a damn burden to be a super talented ass as I am often portrayed to be...

and thats why there is devine justice:

• the most intelligent (judging from the very suspect measures of school scores and overall success) child of the family is also the ugliest one (me)
• luck in love, badluck in gambling says a german proverb. oh, fuck gambling! i want love! but as a matter of fact, the one who has had so much luck in gambling, i.e. finding scholarshpis, sponsors, having success in finding jobs and so on is the one who had bad luck in love related issues. (no, J. was fine, the problem was I couldn't love him the way I wanted to/should have to! It fuckin hurts but you can'T choose with whom you really fall in love! and yes, I think I can say I was really in love with Pedro, and yes, he is a drugaddict and schizophrenic now. oh and yes, Marcial was married. fuck. and L.A. was too old, admittedly and not interested in a realtionsihp either. oh. and Mr. Amazing D. is in a 'patchy' relationship! but the fact that I have so much luck right now with finding appartments for free, getting a job immediately at Starbucks and being offered a post as an interim secretary and the prospect of being Qorianka's personal assistant during the whole promotion time before 'the new world' gets into the theaters....makes me fucking afraid that this time, too, love will have to obey the abovementioned law/proverb. FUCK!) (uhm, no, g, no fucking. no.)
• the one child in the family who did NOT have any major problems with her classmates and yes, was even quite popular and loved and who never has any problems in finding people she likes and whom like her immediately wherever she goes, and the one who always has these crazy coincidences happening, is also the one who has bad luck in love related issues. did I mention it already? oh. did I tell you that it sucks big time? oh you are dumb, ugly, have difficulties in finding friends and you have ALSO bad luck in love related issues? damn. there must be sth in your karma i say. or maybe, maybe i just should step back and be thankful for what i have and tell myself not to be so fuckin spoiled. i am just used to having luck. so thats a good lesson, yes it is. indeed. it must be this way. urgs. can you stop loving me, please, dear friends? maybe i get too much love by you. i want HIS love. thats childish i guess. demanding. fuck fuck fuck (no, G, no fucking tonight. no!)

you see....

god is fair.

i am not breathtakingly beautiful, i don'T dance like a goddess (although for being white thats okay (yeah clichees!!!)) and I have bad luck in love related issues. but i am very bright, successful and popular.

great deal, great deal god.

and now, can we switch roles please????

just dreamin.... 

half cool

update instead of a massmail:

geraldine is still in berlin. another short three weeks. horrifying thought somehow.
gotta make money. HOW? I applied to late for cafes and didn't ask at enough cafes. so i maybe will work for two weeks or so at Starbucks, the evil empire, and paint in the rest of my time. I hope to make some money with the painting but I somehow postponed going out on the street as I don't have all equipment I need and it also scares the shit out of me. But I met a nice streetartist lady and she might help me. NOw its time to get my act together and get going. I ll paint two pictures for my former college ECLA and for a rich American couple who have absurd ideas on how much a picture should cost. way too little. I ll charge more of course. We ll see what I can do. I am not sure at all whether I ll be able to make enough money in those three weeks. Catty wants me to come down to Prague rather than coming up and it s really just a question of time for me...whether I can afford it or not.....well we ll see....

My dear friend from Basel, Anuschka, cosmasista, is comin up in about two weeks and in three weeks bumma and silvia will hopefully show up. man, i hope i manage with my time.

I really wanted to do lots of acrobatics, fireswinging and jamming but I don't know whether I will manage. There is also basketball playing and climbing in the back of my head and getting my stuff together elsehow.

Want to read a bit about the deep dialogue thing and in the end of august I ll have to find out what I need to know in order to homeschool Q'orianka. I think I'll try to go last minute on plane....

Heartwise things have changed a lot too over here and I don't know how things will work out but I am awfully involved in some deep emotional shit, thats all I can tell you so far. But life is beautiful just because of that too, so I don't worry too much.

Berlin is wonderful in early summer and I regret very much not having more time here. I promised Artaban to go with them to Romania so I ll do that and I don't think I ll regret it at all but it s kinda hard to leave. Maybe I ll have to go to Los Angeles a bit later than beginning of September but that also depends on what Sasi and Q need. The music school in LA that I d like to attend starts at October so with respect to that I d have enough time to still do sth here.

I love Berlin.

I ll be back to black forest around the 25 th of jUly and try to visit friends and family before leaving to Romania with my crew!!!!

All the love from the heart of Berlin (I stay in Timo's house, I know him from Hospitalityclub and I can stay here basically for free. it s fucking great and amazing how things sometimes work out....i just have to get my stuff together now to justify all that :))

love love love

geraldine

mein bruder!!!!my brother!!!

hey, goooood news! my brother made it! he did a fucking great job with his abitur! he s thru now! and i am so fucking proud of him! it s sooooo fantastic!!!!!!
congratulations dear bro, i really really reallly dooooo looooooooooooooooove youuuuuu!!!!!

hehe. i really love him, and of course not because he s got his abitur now but no, because i just simply love him.

g