oh god. mazzy star. drawing me into a time vortex that spits me out somewhere on Sunset Blvd in the Holiday Inn (or something like that). The cockroaches on the street, big like lampposts. The dim lights and the Pay4Less in which I hurried barefoot to dry my tears and my fears. Walking around the building multiple times talking to a good friend far away who on the other side of this time vortex has left his place and vanished into obscurity.
who would understand?
and such is it. music that heals. music that breaks walls made of glass separating decades. broken glass. sharp. sharp enough to tear a hole into melancholy blue.
see, maybe it isn´t even that i really care or dare call this feeling love. i once spelled these four letters with awe. they have spilled and left a pool of arbitrary feelings - and an abyss filled with lusting snakes that want to rip me apart and tell me that i am not good enough. it is even pathetic when i write it. because i know it is not true. but what do they care for truth? all they care for is fodder to make them grow and lust more: more guilt! more drama! more this! more that.
growing up has become a lot easier and a lot harder in the same time. things that have taken me years take me only days now. but the canyons have grown wider and the abyss much deeper and the bells keep ringing the name of love.
who would understand?
and such is it. music that heals. music that breaks walls made of glass separating decades. broken glass. sharp. sharp enough to tear a hole into melancholy blue.
see, maybe it isn´t even that i really care or dare call this feeling love. i once spelled these four letters with awe. they have spilled and left a pool of arbitrary feelings - and an abyss filled with lusting snakes that want to rip me apart and tell me that i am not good enough. it is even pathetic when i write it. because i know it is not true. but what do they care for truth? all they care for is fodder to make them grow and lust more: more guilt! more drama! more this! more that.
growing up has become a lot easier and a lot harder in the same time. things that have taken me years take me only days now. but the canyons have grown wider and the abyss much deeper and the bells keep ringing the name of love.
