slow but surely

drop by drop the vase gets filled. one day one drop will overflow.

klodi and I

riding down the sidewalk on Sunset Blvd. On my bike, she on the back. Coming from gorgeous Marie's little performance at Belkadi's clothing shop. Cops at the side of the street. Looking straight at us. We, since we are European, kind of freak out. YOu know how it is, how we are not allowed to ride on sidewalks with someone on the back!
Hollywood Cop: (smiling) "Hey! I've seen this on TV!"


...

lol

With your feet up high

With your feet up high, the wrong place, the wrong time, strutting around in a future that never was yours.
Sometimes I wonder. Wonder, who's idea was what, how much is mine, how much is yours?
May I be sad now? Desperate? Confused? Longing? Depressed? Aggrevated?
Nobody can consult. You know, they tried to teach you that all along, and still you linger around in a cloud of guessing. Thoughts instead of deeds and depression trickles in like blood every month again, moon, so full, clouds so shallow in the sky.
Sometimes I would say good night and nobody even knows what that means. Ever.

how I lost my bike and went dancing again...

She wasn't that old, but worn. The two girls were dressed both in light blue skirts and darker blue shirts, breaking my heart with their morning freshness after a long days work. Julius seemed to know them too, gave them some candy for free, there little three year old sister in the hospital with a desease nobody seems to know. She was certainly the complaining type, willing to share her lot with anyone willing to listen to it. In the bus the older girl was freezing in the absurd air conditioning at night. I covered her with my man's green army jacket and what else I found in my back pack, always prepared for worse weather than you'd expect in the city of lost angels.
Sophie, the five year old who looked actually like HIS daughter will look like one day, fell asleep and the Grandmother didn't know really what to do when their bus stop suddenly approached. Of course I offered my help, I have received so much good on my way that any opportunity to pay back is more than welcome to me. I carried her all the way to their house, sat down with them, played cards and ate ice cream.
They were jewish-persians, very beautiful and of course the apartment was covered in breath taking carpets. The woman talked and talked, about her Italian jerk of a husband, who left her after she had an accident and lives in Las Vegas ever since, gambling his life away. Her husband, whom she brought back to America when they deported him. Who told her that he loved her and that she was his queen. With whom she danced in the streets.
"Look at me" she complained, "I used to bike, swim, dance, I had a perfect body. Now I even can't sit straight. I want revenge. If I had known back then, that he would leave me like that, at this age, with my injury, I would have KICKED HIS ASS..."
The girls were sharp like little razors, vivid eyes and beautiful smiles. Wise little words and explanations coming out of their mouths, why their parents left the 'country of milk and honey' that the Jews, Persians and Muslims found in Iran. How the bad people took over and they had to run away in an airplane!
And whether I am Christian, Jew or Persian? German? I am just me I said, smiling. I tucked the little girl in, tickled the older one. Two little love hungry girls who can't be with their Mom who has to take care of their youngest sister. Two girls, who would need a nanny way more urgently than the two boys I am taking care of. Two girls who want to see me again.
On the way back to the bus I realized that something was missing.
My bike. Fuck. FUCK FUCK FUCK. Secretely I scolded myself for wanting to help so much. Stupid me, to forget my bike, my only means of transportation in LA, on the bike rack of the bus!
Strangely enough I wasn't too upset. I was just calm. It is what it is. I might get it back.
And I did. They found out on which bus it was, told me when it would be at the San Vicente station. I just had to wait two hours.
I know I can't describe all this appropriately beautiful, how could I explain, how happy I was to be dancing again? I had to wait almost two hours for that bus to arrive so I went to a gay club and danced as if there was no tomorrow. Oh yes, wife, you would have loved it. I had tons of fun with the gay guys, telling them about Berlin, hearing their stories. No judgement people, but gay guys sure are the safest and funnest GUYS to hang with....
It has been such a flucking long time ever since I was out the last time!
and it was so much fun! clap clap clap! yeai! That's how I love my nights: surprises surprises...In a way it was even good I didn't have any money with me....
so in the end, everything was cool.
I helped that lady.
I got my bike back
AND I got to cure my back pain with dancing without borders :) good night