abandon

i wish i knew how it looks from the outside. does she recognize my insecurity? i move but it is clearly not my place. i feel silly pretending a flow. she is sweet. her hand so soft on my cheek. her eyes wide and sparkling like fireworks. her moves are like a cats. the pearls shimmer softly in the badly lit ballroom palace. when i look at her and her extremely handsome and tall cousin with a very admirable position somewhere in the world of things, i see royalty. this is how kings and queens and princes and princesses used to look like.

the irony when they all start jumping and screaming along when a punk song comes on. "i don‘t care". such a different fuck you that the song meant. i am not sure if it is cynical or comical to see the decision makers and consultants and elite students go off like that on that song.

it‘s not that cold outside. i think of how free i feel. wild child. remember when we were in africa (the doors). as a traveller i may not have an immediate impact (or any at all) but as a faithful LOTR believer i know that it was the hobbits who sealed the deal of final impact. not alone, granted, but it goes to show that some things we just can t know. of course that is not an invitation to be an asshole or a slacker.

it s just so much nicer not to be gripped somewhere tightly in structures that limit freedom of mobility. the jetsetters, i don t envy them. at all.
i envy those, who travel by foot.