it´s bitter sweet pity - to feel the stir of genuinity beneath it all. as if there is something waiting. and it´s been waiting for so long. it´s been waiting because you took other roads, deluded yourself and missed your twenties.
the only salvation lies in the consoling thought, that maybe perhaps all these experiences will be worth something one day. maybe i can melt them one day into some grande finale. or some grande something. or nothing. who cares.
it is the point beyond doubts. when doubts occur but do not matter in the same way because you are finding your way down the stairs in the dark, carefully putting one foot after the other, trembling and daring.
that´s the way to go.
to follow your heart.