Ohhh. yes....and today I visited Ruth, Nele and Elsa in their little room they rented out the last three months (i wrote about how i met them in 'and the saga continues') because they had invited me for an ethiopian dinner
when I arrived there were many people already there, and as it turned out, most of them were artists, as well.
Man, that was such an inspiring evening! just to breathe this artistic air! People, behaving naturally crazy, a bit crazy, you know..contact -improvisation just in walking by, a guy from Israel who was so incredible funny that I laughed my ass off...all the talks about festivals, street and variete shows......it s just so much my world. It's incredible....Of course it makes me yearn and longing out for a time in which I can be more around people of that kind, but who knows, maybe I am going to be at the European Juggle Convention which, curiously takes place near Ptui in Slovenia, where I have spent the most important summer in my entire life so far: 1997, cultural festival in the castle 'Borl'...
it's so good to have met them again. It's just so smooth and natural and somehow just right that I met them now...it's the right connection now for me. the right thing I need for my time in Berlin without ECLA. I have now connections to their friends, acrobats, jugglers, musicians....I will be busy in JULY!!!!
I actually had a great conversation with a guy who is musician, too, and who encouraged me to come to one of his open music sessions and who really seemed to know what I was talking about when I told him what kind of problems I have....man.....when I drove home, around 2 AM, in the night bus, I felt such a rush of LUCK in my blood. it 's just sooo good and it feels soooo natural!!!! As I was walking home, through the Schlosspark in the night, listening to the sound of the trees, hearing my feet walking through the gras I felt so happy and so inspired. I am inspired...and I realized that I have so many big feelings inside me, that sometimes this suffices. somehow, self-containing.For some reason I really don't seem to need a guy for this. Not yet. I am longing out for someone, just like the rest of us. But I have the feeling that I don't need a man to be complemented. There are so many dances inside myself, so many....there is a spring inside me that flows over, that wants to give birth, create, breathe, dance, freely....it feels so so so so good. all my love flows into the world, it is for free, for everybody!
And then I think that I really would like to join Artaban (scout-like group I had back in school) for the summertrip to Romania. They will help to build a kindergarden I think, and then go for a hiking trip. Just being in nature, doing arts and artistic stuff and giving love and what else I have to them....seems to be an amazing prospect for me. This year those in the 7 th grade are also coming along...So there is a lot I can teach and give them as a last input before I leave into the big wide world!!!!
i love you dear life
jayjay
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