it is early, kinda, and i am all busy keeping my eyes open. but the blues is good. Albert King thanks for playing so beautifully!!!! Brian calls and says he's gonna get me early out of school, we were planning to go to Laguna Beach today with Amanda and i thought it was a good idea yesterday evening but now it seems less brilliant and all i want to do is play guitar all day long. Oh well, but there is definitely something to getting out of hollywood when you get the chance man. I haven't been out of here for so long. oh well.
Yesterday night Amanda called and said she'd go for a walk after having cried for one and a half hours on the phone with her parents and I asked, well do you want to go on top of the mountain, because that's what I'd do but she wanted to go drink a coffee or wine somewhere so I took my skateboard, met her half ways and went with her to the French Room to honor my wife and my lover.
So the news are: she is leaving. She will leave Hollywood and for some reason this decision shifted something inside of me and made it so much easier for me to say: okay, I am leaving too.
The thing is, I hate decisions but I have to come terms with that. I have to come to terms with my personality. If I am a fish who goes for what comes along the way, trusting that this is how it is meant to be, it is okay. So I won't bother anymore about a crazy ass cool job in a top notch international corporation law firm but try and get the job offer in San Francisco or see if there is something in New York for me so as to be closer to my sister Alexa.
Stormy monday. They call it Stormy Monday, but Tuesday's just as bad.
Staying here has been very difficult for me in terms of trying and making sense of it. I wanted to stay here for him but things worked out differently so Plan A doesn't work. My wife is coming back but I can't swim in the same river twice. I can't stay here and pretend everything is the same and cool. LA has been friendly to me and now it is time to move on.
But there is so much to do still. oh my god! Hey world, I am coming!
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